A man is on a plane The pilot starts talking on the intercom and then lays it down without knowing its still on. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could use two things right now, a cup of coffee and a blowjob." stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says, "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says, "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!" she looks at him, "BUT, they are sperm samples???" "DO IT!." So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well," so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
A muslim was sat next to an Australian on an aeroplane. After the plane had taken off the air hostess came over and asked for drinks orders. The Australian orders a 'Jack Daniels' and coke. The air hostess asks the muslim if he too would like a drink ? Looking at the Australians drink, the muslim replies in disgust 'Id rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and had my head shoved up a sheeps arsehole, than let liquor pass my lips !' The Aussie passes the drink back to the air hostess and says 'Strewth, I didn't know we had a choice !'
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